So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
