onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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