i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
