you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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