somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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