JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
