Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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