she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
