perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize