somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
