So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize