meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
