Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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