yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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