I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize