is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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