I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
this is an emotional support booty call
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
