I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
