and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
