Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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