You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
