I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
