i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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