dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
