i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
