You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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