I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
