The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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