I cockslap morals
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
