In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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