dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He better not be in your backpack
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
