He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
