Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
