maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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