So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
