Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
