i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
