All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
