I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Two words: blizzard sex
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize