I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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