I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
