Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize