I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
