Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
