it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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