and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
