Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
