the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
