do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
