I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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