dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
