Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
