Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
