Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize