The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
