Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
