Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
