Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Go christen that room with your naked body.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
