Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
