I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize