Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
