sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
