There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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