She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
