Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
