i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
