on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
