Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
